A Huge Shouting Match
The other day I had to put down my phone and spend some time away from all things “current events”. I’m officially overwhelmed and heartbroken at the state of affairs in our country right now. When I look at social/”mainstream” media I have the distinct feeling that I’m standing in the middle of a huge “shouting match”. Everyone is shouting, trying to be heard over the others. It’s exhausting and disheartening, and I think it’s indicative of the times we’re in...we seem to lack listening skills.
I know that one thing I have had to work on over the years is learning to listen well. Admittedly, it is something I still have to be very intentional about every.single.day. I tend to listen to respond, rather than listening to understand....part of that is because I’m busy and listening to understand takes time. If the goal of my “communication” is to learn, then I must allocate the time to do that. If the goal of my “communication” is to “tell” then I’m not really willing to listen to understand....the transaction becomes a shouting match when my only goal is to say what I have to say and to get your “agreement” or at least to get you to do what I want.
We are in a historic moment of opportunity in this country...we have the opportunity to become something different than what we’ve been. What the last few months should have taught us is that we are in a new time. That’s not actually news (even though many of us are surprised)….nothing actually ever stays the “same”, but for a while, we have been functioning as if it does. Tomorrow will not be today. We can look at that and feel fear, or we can look and see opportunity. If we feel fear, we will work to protect what we think is the “sameness” of yesterday or last week or last year. We will fight to have it “the way it’s always been” (even if we know, deep in our hearts that what has always been, isn’t all that great) and we will overrun and villainize anyone who would DARE to suggest that things aren’t exactly what we want to think they are. On the other hand, if we see opportunity, we will be willing to look at those things we think we “know” and determine how they might be different and imagine how they might be better.
This work is hard, and it’s messy, and it’s necessary, and it can be wonderful if we are willing to step into a learning attitude and begin to listen to understand. We don’t have to know the answers....alone none of us have the answer. But together, we have ALL the answers. We won’t find them, however, until we begin to LISTEN to understand, and not to respond.
My challenge, to myself, and to you, is to find a new voice....someone you have never listened to before and listen to understand their position. Listening to understand doesn’t mean that you must agree with all (or anything) that person says. The practice of listening to understand new voices is an important step in the journey forward. And who knows, you might just discover some new thoughts, or at least begin to find an understanding of someone else along the way.