WHY?

When I was in Officer Training School, we had a board on the wall of our classroom where crazy/funny things we said during our time there were recorded.  On my square of the board, in big letters someone wrote WHY? because I was known (notorious, maybe?) for asking WHY? we were doing things the way we were doing them….why were we putting the toilet paper at “12 o’clock” on every roll in every bathroom stall at 0530 (5:30am) every morning?  Why were we walking on only one side of the hallway, no matter if we were the only ones in the hallway, and stopping at every hallway “intersection”?  Why were we doing an obstacle on the obstacle course one way when it seemed like another way would make more sense….why, why, why?  I’m sure I drove some of my classmates crazy with all my questions.  I was good at following the rules, I just wanted to understand what was behind the rules…

This hasn’t changed as I’ve gotten a lot more years under my belt.  I still want to know why? things are the way they are.  These days my obsession with understanding has been focused on understanding (or attempting to understand) why people do the things they do, why people react and respond the way they do, and why certain things affect me the way they do.  I stumbled upon two new methods of understanding myself and other recently…temperaments and the enneagram.  (To be honest, I don’t believe I ever “stumble” upon things….I believe that God shows me things in ways that might seem to be “random” but never are.)

I can’t tell you everything there is to know about either of these tools, but I can tell you that as I’ve begun to learn more about who I am and how I’m wired, and how that “wiring” affects how I see, hear, and experience the world, I am finding a deeper level of acceptance…for myself, and for others around me.  As I’ve said before, I’ve learned in my journey that acceptance is the key to serenity, which is my new measure of success in life and my goal.  Learning that how people are wired is innate and unchangeable gives me a lot of freedom from trying to “change” people.  Learning how people, no matter how they are wired, can choose how to respond and maneuver through the world, using the gifts of their “wiring/type” and avoiding the “weaknesses/shadow side” helps me understand better how to walk with the people in my life.  I’m excited about sharing what I learn, not to change someone, but to help them see that they were created in a special, beautiful, “messy” way….and that their uniqueness is a gift to the world.  I wrote my life purpose statement several years ago….I wrote that my purpose was/is to help people discover and walk in their God-given purpose.  When I wrote that statement, I didn’t have all the tools to do that, but I felt that it was EXACTLY what I’ve been created to do.  I would say now that my purpose is helping others know that their “messy” is wonderful, and purpose-filled!  

So, as it turns out….WHY? is my question…and I hope it always is.  I hope to continue to seek the answers to that question wherever and however those answers show up….and I hope that I can always see the wonderful in what we sometimes see as “messy.”