How Do You Define Success?
What does is mean to be “SUCCESSFUL”?
I am reading the most interesting book, called “Barking up the Wrong Tree” by Eric Barker. In this book, Eric discusses the concept of “success” and investigates how we measure what success is and whether we’re achieving it. I was intrigued by the book description that mentioned that most high school valedictorians don’t go on to be the “world changers”. I guess I sort of knew that…..I knew that being a valedictorian doesn’t ensure financial, relational, or emotional prosperity. But, it has got me thinking about the standards that we use to measure whether someone is a “success”….and also the cultural structures we have in place to gauge “how we measure up” to those standards.
As I’ve been reading this book, I’ve been thinking a lot about what my definition of “success” is…..and I’m mindful of the change that has come with that definition as I’ve gotten older. I remember as a younger person my definition of success was tied to my job, how often I was getting promoted, and what standard of living I was able to maintain for myself and my family. As a parent, my definition of success was tied up with how well my children were doing…..because if they were doing well, then I was a “successful” parent. What I’ve come to recognize is that while evaluating my job status, my promotability, and the well-being of my children are not, in and of themselves, bad things to be aware of, none of those things really defines whether I’m “successful” or not. With age has come some wisdom, and a new realization that the “success” I’m looking for has a completely different description. The success I’m now working for goes by the name “serenity”.
In the recovery groups I participate in, we use a prayer that is familiar to many as a guide to what a “recovered life” looks like. You may be familiar with part of it, but I want to share all of it today. It’s called the Serenity Prayer:
God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time, enjoying each moment at a time, accepting hardship as the pathway to peace. Taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it. Trusting that you will make all things right, if I surrender to your will. So that I may be reasonably happy in this life, and supremely happy, with you, forever in the next.
This prayer has become the framework for my definition of “success”. There are some elements that I can pull out and make into a “checklist” if you will, to track my progress.
Am I willing to accept things I can’t change? Or am I going to spend my time twisting around about things I can’t do anything about?
Am I enjoying the moments of my life? Or, am I spending my time looking in the rear-view mirror to see what’s already happened, or wishing and worrying about what has not yet come to be?
Am I willing to accept that the road to get to where I want to be will have hardship? Or, do I run from any hard thing that happens, hoping for some sort of easy road to the end of the rainbow?
Am I willing to accept that things are not going to go my way? Or, do I spend my time bemoaning how things are not “fair”?
Am I willing to trust that God has a plan, and am I willing to surrender to His care and control? Or, will I stay “in charge” of my life so that I can “control” how everything goes?
When I use this as a gauge for how “successful” I am, I think I will find that I have a better chance of getting that serenity that I really desire. I invite you to consider what standards of success you might be using to gauge your success….it’s never too late to change your checklist to aim toward what you really want!